Direct Dil Se

The second feeling which upsets me the most after failure is nostalgia. Thought of leaving places, people, seasons and surroundings behind leaves me with a feeling of incompleteness and emptiness in life for some time being. And then, new people and new seasons arrive in life again. Throughout my whole life so far, I can best describe myself as a traveler. With the life of a vagabond, getting transferred from one place to another, trying to get adapted to a new environment every year...I have realized that life is only a voyage and we are just sailing our ships in search of a new port, we stay at a place during the flow of this stream for a while and then start on the voyage again. We set our goals, opinions and own definitions during this voyage.....we succeed to find some and we fail for some, but life never stops...it keeps on progressing further. Destinations never hamper its procession.

So now its one more month, and I will be out of my graduate school. Life has been a complete blend of success and failures, laughter and tears, achievements and disappointments, completed and incomplete dreams in past 2 and half years of my masters and my stay at US. I know I should feel something on the lines of "Purani jeans aur guitar" for the last remaining month of my college life. I have been listening to my father saying that the real harsh and challenging life starts after you are out of college. And I also remember Aamir Khan in Rang de Basanti saying" College ke is taraf hum zindagi ko nachaate hai, aur college ke dooji taraf zindagi humko nachaati hai...tim-lal-lak-te-tim-lak-lak". I know it is never going to be easy in professional world. But one has to make a start from somewhere in life. With the pains of ending one chapter of life and embarking a new chapter in life...it always seems lucid that life is just a journey and not a destination.

I cried unlimited when my mother was transferred to a new place and had to leave. I was 3 years old then. Ma said" It is difficult to part but then only we realize the hope and happiness of meeting and crossing our ways again." I noted it down somewhere and from then it has become a part and parcel of life. Transfer was more heard than any other childhood vocabulary. Been an exchange offer between ma and papa, I still think that Govt. of Rajasthan owes us a new life with ma and papa both in same city forever. And when they both got transferred for longer duration at same place, I had to leave home in quest of my destiny and fulfillment of my dreams. May be destiny wants all of us to understand this most important fact of life that everything passes by and everything is temporary. From changing towns and schools every year; leaving places, home and friends; the feeling of I-will-never-see-these-trees-and-streets-again; packing and unpacking stuffs....I have come a long way ahead to experience the ephemerality of moments with everything and everyone who touches your heart and mind. We join and leave various schools and then join college and leave it, again to join and leave something. And this cycle of joining and leaving keeps on and on. But one feature is always there. We meet people and make friends everywhere. We leave old friends only in order to make new friends and old friends stay always with you. They are never like streets and walls whom we will not be able to see once they get away from our way.

After a series of a new school and town every year, I had a sigh of relief when I joined college for Bachelors. At least, I will be at this place for 4 years. Four years passed by and I was dull again by the thought of leaving my friends. But even sunrise is temporary and so is sunset, how could those moments freeze in the course of time. I joined Masters here in Chicago, and now it is time to leave again. The feeling is the same, notwithstanding the place and people seem different. Just like the people in India who got imprinted on my mind and heart, there are few people here in chicago also who will remain in me forever and they know very well who are they. The lovely memories with them will keep titillating me for quite a long time...and I will tread on my road to life only to find new moments with new people at new places.And I will keep this hope alive to meet and cross ways with my oldies again.

I remember Ma's words every time when I or someone closed one leaves. But I believe in making sweet memories. It is not the time or the number of moments we spent together. I may be around you for 20 years, 2 months or 2 minutes. The feeling of belonging to someone in a beautiful way is the essence of memories. When you remember me, you must not think about the only 2 minutes we spent together... if my memory brings a smile on your face and touch you to relieve in your pain...I will feel I am with you forever. Preserve the feeling and memories rather than counting the moments.

Remember every end is a new beginning and nothing lasts forever....but ofcourse images in mind and memories in heart will remain forever. Make memories with everyone and then leave memories behind....life is about keep walking and leaving marks of our lives,love and feelings in hearts of people.