The story who formed my being....

The readers of this blog must have realized this by now that my father has a strong impact on my life. He possess a very special place in my life and whatever I think and convey has some of his input and some of his shade. He is the only person in my life who has played unlimited number of roles for me. He has not only been a father but also a teacher, friend, philosopher, guide, secret-sharer, mood-en lightener, story-teller, inspirer, motivator, charioteer of my life-chariot, and Jupiter of my sky. There are many other beautiful pieces of our relation but the most prominent bridge that connects me and him is ideals, values, philosophies and lessons. I have grown up listening to his stories from my childhood. Of course some of them are extremely philosophical and spiritual but some of them are practical too with always a lesson at the end. They are.. from my childhood when I was 4 years old..till date.I would like to share one of them with the readers which holds the most important place among all the stories. This story marked the school of thought I follow and formed my being. I would also like to let you know if you are not a person who like to bear philosophies, do not read. Please read only if you have some place for philosophy and spirituality in your life.

Long back, there was a king who used to rule a state. He was very righteous, kind and unbiased ruler. Everyone used to feel secure and equal under the shade of his supremacy. He used to disguise himself and roam around his state's streets and markets to know if anyone is in need or despair. One day, after disguising himself, he went to the main market. It was a busy day in the market and he was walking around when he saw an old and poor woman selling something. The woman was very weak and looked like she was starving from days. She had a basket full of garbage with her which she was trying to sell, and everyone passing around was making fun of her because of that.The king decided to help her. He went to her and asked" Mother, what are you selling?"..."I am selling my poverty, son. I am a poor woman and I haven't eaten anything for so many days. I didn't have anything left in my house so I decided to collect the garbage of my house and sell it" She replied. The king felt bad that under his reign, someone doesn't have anything to eat. He bought her basket of garbage and gave her some money. She blessed her and left. After making some more rounds of market and helping people, he returned to his palace and ordered his guards to keep the basket in his treasury.

Later that night after having dinner, the king was spending time on the terrace of his palace. Suddenly, he saw a lady wearing bright clothes walking out of his treasury and leaving. He rushed to her and asked " Who are you? Why did you walk out of my treasury?"..." I am Lakshmi, the goddess of Wealth. You have given shelter to poverty in your treasury where I was residing till date. Now, there is no place for me so I am leaving. Poverty and wealth can't stay together." She said. The king let her go.

After some time, he saw one more lady with bright clothes walking out of his treasury. He followed her and asked " Who are you? Why are you leaving my place?" " I am Shakti, the goddess of Power. You invited poverty at your place and because of it, the goddess of wealth left. Wealth brings power and I am not able to stay here any more." She replied to the king. He let her go also.

Some time later, he saw one more lady walking out of his palace this time. He approached her also and asked the same question.She said." I am goddess of Fortune. Without goddess of power and wealth, there is no sense with me staying here any more. Fortune always stays with power and wealth around her. With me walking out now, your kingdom has no future as you let go the supremos who were protecting your state from evils. " The king didn't say any word and let her go.

When he was returning back to his palace, a man with a glow on his face and bright clothes was walking out of his palace. The king walked towards him and asked his question. He replied..." I am Dharma, the god of righteousness, truth and virtue. I am leaving you now. All the predominant gods have left your place and I believe I am the only one left here. I will also have to go where others are. "

The king leaned down to his feet and folded his hands and said" No my lord, I can't let you go with others. To follow Dharma only, I bought the old woman's poverty. My dharma as a king tells me to take care of my people, help them in their time of need, look after and protect them. It is only for Dharma I decided to let go all the supremos from my state. If you also leave, then whatever I have done to the old woman and to my people so far has no meaning and no justification. I will accept destitution, calamity and misfortune...but I am not ready to leave Dharma. I am sorry I can't let you go. I request you to return back to my palace." Lord Dharma returned back.

After few hours, when the king was about to go to sleep, he saw all the three goddesses coming back to him. He asked them the reason. They told" Without Dharma, we don't have a path or a direction. It is only dharma who leads our way. He is the beginning, journey and the destination of our being. We are directionless with not having him around and our whole existence can't be justified. We would not leave your kingdom and will return where we belong. " The king sought their blessings and went happily to his palace.

When my father finished this story, I couldn't make much sense out of it. I was only 5 years old then. But over the years, I have realized the true meaning of this story and the lesson. My father asks me often" What is it that you can't let go? Ask yourself." And I remember the story...... always......every moment....

If not...

Living life could be the easiest task in this world and at the same time could be the most difficult one. Only when we realize what important is there with us, is not going to be any more. What if not?....Life is a series of choices we make. When the usual happens...we enjoy our choices. When something unusual happens...we regret or fret over the choices. But ultimately, it is only the person who has to bear the consequences of his/her choices. May be a small wish which comes true can give the pleasure of few moments...and may be a dream of life can never reach to its destination. What I have realized is...that a human being should always be compliant to accept everything life has to offer. I have seen people who ended life for a petty cause which meant a big one for them. I ponder sometimes on it. Is it so easy to end life just like that? After all, anyone can die easily...what's hard is having the courage to live.

When I was in school, I had a small diary with me in which I used to write what all I would like to do in my life. I was a dreamer just like everyone is. My bucket list of dreams was the whole essence of my being. It included the people I will want to be with, dreams I will wish to complete, responsibilities I will like to fulfill and zeniths I will aim to achieve. Years gone passed, some dreams found their destiny, some are still unfolded and some would never culminate into what they were supposed to. I used to open it sometimes and fret over what remained incomplete. I thought I don't have the strength and courage to reclaim whatever is unaccomplished. It is true that we make our earnest efforts to fulfill what we dream of. But there are also two phases after our efforts...either we get it or we don't. Life blooms when we get it...but life shatters when we don't get it. That should never happen to life. Regardless of the destiny of our dream, we must always keep in mind how to live without it.

I remember a small story long back from my school life. I had a teacher at my school. He was not very interactive with students other than his subject related queries. I had raised first time in my life from a naughty fellow to a sincere student in that school so I would say I was emotionally very attached to the school. My father got transferred from the town and I was to leave the school. I was feeling nostalgic by the thought of leaving the place which first showed me my abilities. I went to meet all my teachers & seek their blessings. When I met him, he was quite silent during the whole conversation. He gave me his wishes and all of a sudden I broke down in front of him. I told him that I won't be able to live without this place, school, my teachers, friends.

He paused for a moment and then said" OK, this is the last lesson from your teacher. You told me that you write your dreams in your bucket list diary so that you have them in front of your eyes all the time. From today onwards, make one more list of the things, people, places, dreams, ideas without which you won't be able to live. See it everyday, try to balance everything in it against the ingredient which is most important for your survival. I bet you will erase everything from your mind and that list, once you realize that they are not that important.....Of course, people are important. They can't be compared to non-living things. But their sweet memories are important, not their physical presence beside you all the time."

I asked" Do you think it is easy to leave places and people? I see new schools and places every year and before I try to spread my roots somewhere, it is time to say Goodbye. Why is my life a drift boat all the time? I want to stop somewhere and immerse in one. I am tired of these rooting and uprooting phases of life."

What he said after that has been one of the most valuable teaching of my being as a human. He said" This is the beauty of life, dear. Rooting makes a tree strong and uprooting stops its nourishment. And that's the only difference between the life of a tree and a human being. A human grows the strongest only when he/she is uprooted. You find it difficult to stay away from the roots that nurtured you. Lekin zindagi mein aisa kuch nahi hai jiske bina jeeya naa ja sake. I am here for a while. Who knows, whether I will be alive after 2 days...my family will suffer the most. But eventually, they will learn to live without me. Because life is like that. It keeps on proceeding ahead till the moment you stop its procession or end it. Remember, dreams are your own choices and not a compulsion on you...so complete them for your happiness. If not...then try & learn to live with their incompleteness also. There is no other thing which is more important than life."

I touched his feet and left the place. I made that list with all the things, people, places, ideas and dreams. During the course of time, I kept on erasing names from it. And after 25 years of my life, I have only three names left in that list.

1. God
2. Life
3. Spirits & Values
These are the only three names that are imperative for my existence.

I came to know after 2 years that my teacher met with a road accident and lost his life. I could never meet him again and tell him that he actually taught me how easy it is to live without everything in life. Just make everything unimportant in comparison to your life...and life is easy. Achieve your dreams...life will be better than before...If not...then also, life is with you. What else one needs to live? Just life right?....

Hopes...

Hope is a good thing...may be the best of thing...may be defines the beginning and end of life...may be the essence of life....may be the only ingredient which keeps you alive. This lesson was taking longer than ever to reach me. The whole book of my life has pages of few tears, smiles, laughter, struggles, achievements, failures, aspirations and dreams. The page of hope seemed like completed but it wasn't. The easiest task for a human being is to crash all his hopes and the most difficult one is to crash himself. And living without hope is just like a body with no soul. At times, I have acted deceased...working towards something..don't know what..success comes..its good...if it doesn't...hopes get crashed. It is unfair friends. We need hopes only in the time of despair and we kick them out so easily...at least I do.

Few years back in India, I appeared in IIT-JEE with my full fledged efforts. I didn't get selected and the failure devastated me and my spirits. My family and few people close to me know how difficult the situation was for me. With my dear ones' love and care, I managed to start living a new life afterward. And trust me, my confidence level never soared to the level where it was before IIT-JEE. Till date, there has been no disaster befallen upon me of that severity. Ma never worried for me that much before that and after that. Di was continuously trying to blow spirits in me.

Baba was almost in an impatient state after observing me behaving with no hopes and miser for5-6 months when one day he burst out.." Is that what I have taught you for years? Lose hopes, be a prisoner of your own failures and think life doesn't have anything else to offer you? It is just a beginning dear. Remember, when everything crashes then it is the best opportunity to prove yourself. Unlimited doors are opened in front of you now. Take any of them. You have nothing to lose because you have already lost everything and to gain...you have the world." Those precious words were the stepping stones of the foundation of my to-be-built structure of confidence.

I consider myself lucky to have been around people who have experienced misery, crisis and tragedies more than what I have faced. Amongst them, someone lost whole family in earthquake at the tender age of 17 years, someone was born in a financially challenged and miser family, someone had to work as a peon and had to leave school to earn livelihood for family at age of 10, someone was blind by birth and forever, someone became physically challenged afterward, someone had to take a truthful path of failure to survive deceitful destination of success. I can keep talking about some more of this kind for ever.

The common factor I found among them was these people never left the hand of their hopes. The hope which says a new dawn will arrive soon...a new world is waiting for you. And after remembering all these angels I feel...I am crying because I have no shoes....what about the one who has no feet. Life is full of blessings and sometimes we are just too blind to see them...just having hopes can get us closer to the beauty of life.

The people who read this blog entitle me as a philosopher. But friends, I have never tried to be one. I have only conveyed what my life has shown and taught me. Yes, I agree I think a lot. I agree sometimes I don't talk that makes much sense...but I don't agree that talking real is philosophy. And I like to talk real. Recently, one of my dearest friend sent me these lines that I would like to share with everyone.

" If there is a solution, find it.
If there is none, never mind it."

And remember between these two lines...never lose hopes and even after that. Hope is the best thing one can have.