There can't be no better curse in this world than to be alone. And may be that's why this concept of families did come into picture. We are born in families, make our own families, live with them and one day die in their arms. The most important asset a human possess is family. Ma says that a strong family has the strength to sustain every possible adversity in the world. My parents have spent most of their personal life away from each other due to their frequent transfers and postings in their respective jobs. And there was a time when both of them were away from home. We always felt their presence beside us and that's what kept and keep us together. That's what keeps everyone together.
I have a colleague at work who trusts me a lot. It is strange to see when an American starts trusting a non-American when it comes to personal life and relations. He shared a personal issue of his friend with me which was new of its kind. His friend's wife has filed divorce and they are discussing over the issues of divisions of all the property, assets and custody of their children. It seems usual as these are the main issues one has to deal with while filing divorce. But what perturbed me was the division of children. The couple has two sons and two daughters. And one of their son and daughter is grown up. They want to divide their grown up children & younger children equally and their sons and daughters equally. I have never heard of such kind of division in my life before. My colleague asked me what I think of their agreement and decision to go with.
I didn't want to advice anything on the matter. First of all, I am too young and immature to give any advice and second, I am inexperienced as a wife and mother and third of course, our cultures and upbringings are different. I decided to stay neutral at the end, with the feeling that its their personal matter. But I knew that I could have spoken on it being a daughter. He then asked me further about how is it in India. Do Indians get divorced? After 2-3 questions of this tone, he landed into my personal life with my family. I could have lied about our struggles in earlier stages of our family life. But when it comes to family, I hate lying. It is like lying about god, lying about the first blessing of being a human being.
So, I gave him a vague idea about how we lived like wanderers in the initial years till we three grew up. And his astonishment after getting to know this unveiled his next question. " Do your parents now live together? Are they still living with each other after spending so much time away?" And I smiled as I knew this question was coming...." Ya, my parents are very much together. Does it matter to stay far physically? After all, your loved one resides in your heart. No matter which part of earth he/she stays in." When he smiled, I knew he agreed with the idea none the less..." You know Purva, I really admire India and Indians for the harmony and integrity in their relations. Whats nice to see that they stay with their parents even after their marriage."
This is not as easy and frequent as it was evident from his talk. We Indians know that there are some discrepancies. Nothing is perfect and impeccable on this earth. We Indians are accepting westernization and feeling happy to forget our own. Even we Indians get divorced, stay away from our family willingly and walk out of our family and parents' lives happily. We Indians fight over the issues of division of assets and custody of children. And of course we Indians only forget our family so easily. But till date I haven't heard of division of children in India. May be, I belong to a small place in comparison to metropolitan culture where this could be a normal matter & I still possess the small town mentality. However, it is easy to divide assets, easier to divide property....but it is hardest to divide children.
What left me surprised over the issue was...this idea of division of children was proposed by their mother. A mother is the most respectable person of all. She is god's best gift to every living being on this earth, she is the life and god herself as she gives birth to life. If god wants to take birth, even he has to come through a mother's womb. Wherever or in whatever form life is, mother is the cause and beginning of one's existence. Can she think of dividing her children? Her heart beats in her children. Even if someone goes on to try dividing....is it possible to divide hearts? A true relation is always the one in which bodies are different & heart is one, names are different & soul is one. The day we will divide soul will probably see the beginning of division of a mother's heart too.
